The Very Reason for my Blog Title

Saturday was my school's homecoming football game. A huge chunk of my family came out to the game and I came by to speak to them. Now, I had previously attempted to straighten my hair, but by game day I couldn't stand to attempt to work with it anymore. I did two french braids--one on either side of my head--and pinned them up in the back. I thought it was a messy, yet cute style.  Fast forward to Sunday night when I received these two texts from one of my aunts who is a hair dresser.

What [is] up with my baby (your) hair. What is the goal?

You have always cared about your hair. I know things change but man you have change[ed.] [W]here is the little girl with GOOD hair?

I was cooking when I received these texts so they were both on my phone when I picked it up. I saw the first one and said "I'm just growing the relaxer out". Then, I saw the second one...Two things put me off about that message. Thing one, I have not changed. How I style my hair has, but my person is still the same. Thing two, my hair isn't bad. It is soft, moisturized, and conditioned. I wasn't even wearing it wild and free that day. I was rockin a french crown on (somewhat) heat tamed hair.

My aunt asked me to call her, so I did. At first she made small talk about what I was cooking and about me being a Pescetarian. I could tell by the rushed tone that she was eager to get to my hair. She asked me what was wrong with the relaxer. I told her that the chemical used to relax hair is very dangerous and I don't want that on my head. I also told her that beauticians have gotten my hair very straight even with new growth showing my that I don't NEED a relaxer for straight hair. I didn't tell her this, but I'm also interested in rocking whatever kinks, coils, or curls God saw fit to give me.

Her reply was that the relaxer is strong because that's what it takes for it to work. You rinse it out anyway, but if you keep putting heat on your hair you will hurt it. I told her that I don't usually heat style my hair and that I wear it in braidouts and bantu knot outs, which I explained as making the hair wavy or curly. She went on to ask me if my messy french braids were a new style and what do I call it. I told her that I just braided them and I thought they looked okay with a little mess to them. She said that I educated her and got off the phone.

Later on twitter, I sent her a link to my week of braidout blog post showing her how I usually wear my hair. She said it was cute. The main point of posting this wasn't to blast my aunt on the internet. What I wanted to do was to point to this as the very reason why my blog is named what it is. When you go out and about with natural or transitioning hair people are gonna look at you and think "WHAT THE KINK?!" but you gotta press on and keep your head up. Your hair is an expression of yourself and it is personal. I also wanted to provide inspiration to those that may have experienced similar situations.

 ♥ KAYLA