Wednesday, October 21, 2015

How To Break Your Hair Off | Satire

Your hair has been growing too long and too strong. It's about time it broke off. These tips will help you get the process started in no time!

Hardly Ever Wash Your Hair

Washing your hair involves water and water is moisture. We want to avoid moisture! Dry hair will break off more easily. Also, though it doesn't involve breakage, a dirty scalp will produce slower growth. Slower growth paired will breakage will surely make a big visual difference!

Throw Out Your Conditioner

Put that conditioner down! Conditioner is another bringer of moisture. To speed up the breakage process, eliminate conditioner used for deep conditioning, leaving in, and daily moisturization. Conditioner, Bad.

Comb/Brush Your Hair Very Thoroughly

Rip through the tangles with abandon. Bust through those naps like they're nothing. You will get the tangles out--out off your head and broken off. The combing combined with ditching cleansing and conditioning should also speed you toward your desired results.

Sleep With Your Hair Unprotected

All of this combing, not conditioning, and not washing are active things. Break off some hair while you sleep by skipping out on all silk/satin hair coverings and pillow cases.

Force Your Hair Into Styles

Your hair doesn't want to be pulled into a ponytail so tight that it snatches your eyebrows back? So what?! This thing isn't for the weak. You put your hair into that ponytail and enjoy the reward of broken edges!
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